So we finally reached viability at 24 weeks and are now going in to week 25. Although we have hit another milestone, the last fortnight has been filled with anxiety and worry.
As I continue further in to this pregnancy and begin to feel more movements, the more I find I am becoming attached.
The thought of losing another baby is constant and I just don’t know how we would cope if we had to bury another daughter. I am trying to keep positive besides this.
We are also creeping up to the events of last year. When I hit 28 weeks last July, I was having a routine midwife appointment which resulted in me being rushed to the day unit for monitoring as my blood pressure was abnormally high (166/110)!!
I remember bursting in to tears and immediately calling Lew to tell him.
We arrived at the day unit where I was hooked up to a blood pressure machine and a CTG machine.
I was sent home after 30 minutes being reassured everything was okay. I remember that day so clearly, little did I know 4 weeks later my baby would die.
We have three weeks to go until I hit that dreaded date again. Although I am reassured with extra scans this time I can’t help thinking it will end the same way. We have been told I am going to be given scans at 28, 32, 36 weeks, with a possible induction around 37 weeks.
This means our little rainbow baby could be here end of August, first week of September.
We also have Grace’s 1st birthday to think about. One whole year on the 28th July. I wonder what she would look like now, what her giggle would sound like.. we would be planning it all so differently.
This journey is long, the daily mental battle with my thoughts is tiring but I know the end result will all be worth it.
I can’t wait to meet Grace’s baby sister and give her all the love waiting in my heart.